I am a good mother, and so are you.
Why is it so hard for us to say that out loud? Even as I type it out, it feels uncomfortable. Pretentious even. It took me 12 years into this parenting adventure to finally stop focusing on all of the things I am lacking and start focusing on all of the things I am rocking as a mom. I like to take the scenic route through life.
I love my babies with the fiery passion of a thousand suns and I know that you feel the same way about your babies too. We all do. I sacrifice pretty clothes, a social life and flat abs for them. So what if I don’t read a bedtime story every night (ok most nights, I fail to read to them most nights). So what if I hide the plum and candy cane cards in Candy Land. I refuse to play a game for 30 excruciating minutes only to get one of those damn cards and have to start all over again. Not gonna happen. Also? My kids have gotten cavities because I’m a bad flosser. I have great intentions of flossing them every night and then life happens and they get cavities. I’m really not talking myself up here, am I? My point is: I’m human, just like you. I have strengths and weaknesses, none of which qualify or disqualify me as a good mother.
I am a good mother because I love my children. So. Much. They also drive me insane and sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom and sit on the floor so I can read and drink coffee in peace for ten minutes. The kids haven’t caught on to this yet so let’s just keep this between us, ok? The important thing is that my kids know I love them. THAT is what counts. All of the other things – like my inability to execute even the simplest of crafts – don’t matter. The Pinterest-worthy cakes and the homemade clothes aren’t what our kids are going to miss most about us after we’re gone; it’s the love behind our actions that they will hold on to.
We all love our children. I feel like as long as we convey that love to them in real ways, they’ll be alright. It’s ok if we fall short sometimes; it shows them that mistakes are ok. We don’t have to be perfect. Perfection is overrated. It’s BS really; a trap that we get stuck in as moms. We end up spending so much time wishing and trying to be perfect that we forget to enjoy the journey.
It is time we give ourselves credit for all that we do. Let’s celebrate the areas that we’re nailing it. I couldn’t sew anything to save my life, but I rock organization, like to bake and conduct backyard science experiments with my kids on the regular.
We’re awesome, us moms. We love hard, give our all and shape lives. While we’re not perfect, we do a damn good job! So if no one has ever told you this before, allow me to be the first: You’re rocking this motherhood thing, even when it doesn’t feel like it. That yearning to do better, to be better? That’s your love showing. You’re a good mom; a damn good mom!